"Mega Piranha" review

Mega Piranha (2010)

Director: Eric Forsberg
Writer: Eric Forsberg

Paul Logan ... Jason Fitch
Tiffany ... Sarah Monroe
Barry Williams ... Bob Grady
David Labiosa ... Colonel Antonio Diaz
Jude Gerard Prest ... Dr. Brian Higgins
Jesse Daly ... Dr. Eli Gordon
Cooper Harris ... Lt. Julia
William Morse ... Lt. Stritch

Mega Piranha are on the loose and only an 80's pop star can save the world. Tiffany is the resident super genius, (or is that mega genius?), who knows everything there is to know about Mega Piranha. A hunky special forces soldier has come to the Amazon to figure out why the American Ambassador was torn into a million pieces. Tiffany holds all the answers as they try to get away, into the night, and then he puts his arms around her and they tumble to the ground and then he says, "I think we're alone now." But they're not! Mega Piranha keep eating everything in sight and keep growing and growing until they've reached the size of Super Pac-man. Trying to figure out how to defeat a mega Piranha is like trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. Somebody call the A-Team! Stop me before I run out of 80's references!

It's going to be very hard to describe "Mega Piranha" without using the word cheesy. Cheesy is the word the captures the acting, special effects, mood, story and everything else associated with this movie. "Mega Piranha" is shot as a hyperactive action movie with ridiculous piranha inhaling every object, (living or otherwise), that gets in their way. I suppose the filmmakers deserve a little credit for trying to take this subject matter seriously. But whether they take it seriously or not, "Mega Piranha" is still a cheesy B-movie that was made to be forgotten.

There are two scenes in "Mega Piranha" that are worth mentioning so that you don't have to actually watch this movie. They both involve piranha flying out of the water. The first one has the soldier swimming out of a river full of piranha. As he sits on the beach, a mega piranha jumps out of the water and howls at him as he leaps for his throat. This ends in a mano-a-teeth battle to the death. The second scene has the same soldier on a different beach. This time the piranha show that they have learned their lesson from the first battle and attack in waves. Fortunately the soldier is trained for just such a situation and uses his feet to kick them back in the water. These two scenes highlight the total entertainment value of this movie.

The rest of "Mega Piranha" is a headache-inducing, cheeseball action movie. Unless you're dying for piranha mega cheese, this one can be skipped. The only thing else worth mentioning is the presence of Tiffany. There's something important about Tiffany that needs to be said: Tiffany has an amazing rack. Yes, it's true. It's also true that "Mega Piranha" did not exploit this 80's pop star as much as it should have. I don't believe she ever said "I think we're alone now". I was waiting for it but I'm pretty sure she never said any lines from her hot cover song. What a shame. The beating of her heart was the only sound...

SCORE: 2 out of 4 mega Tiffany's

Tiffany in all her glory:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=826PTEuHKhE