Sunday, January 22, 2006

"El Chupacabra" review


El Chupacabra (2003)

Directed by Brennon Jones Paul Wynne
Writing credits Brennon Jones

Eric Alegria.... Navarro
Anthony 'Treach' Criss.... Dr. Goodspeed (as Treach)
Elina Madison.... Starlina

I have a prediction. A bold prediction. Someday, there will be a good Chupacabra movie. A monster legend of this magnitude deserves an exciting cinematic tribute. Well, at least a competent one. "El Chupacabra" is not that film.

So the Chupacabra attacks people and the world's most excitable dogcatcher decides to do something about it. There are some other characters that appear for no good reason. The movie concludes at the standard B-movie lab. All of the characters somehow end up there and mercifully end the movie.

This movie is painful. It will cause you physical pain. My stomach was turning over while watching this. Every single aspect of this movie is rotten. I cannot find one positive thing to say about it. Let me think...nope. Not a thing.

SCORE: LANDFILL

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