Friday, September 15, 2006

"Timeline" review

Timeline (2003)

Directed by Richard Donner
Writing credits Jeff Maguire

Paul Walker .... Chris Johnston
Frances O'Connor .... Kate Ericson
Gerard Butler .... André Marek
Billy Connolly .... Prof. E.A. Johnston
David Thewlis .... Robert Doniger

You ever get that sinking feeling? That "not so fresh" feeling? You know, that feeling that washes over you about halfway through a mediocre movie? That feeling of unnamable dread that tells you nothing interesting is going to happen for the rest of the flick? That the movie has peaked in the first twenty minutes? I hate that feeling. That is what you will feel if you go see "Timeline".

A professor gets stuck back in time. His students hop in a hall of mirrors time machine to go and get him. They land in the middle of a war between the English and the French. Knight's attack, catapults catapult, and arrows fly through the air. Adventure, excitement etc.

The big question with "Timeline" is this: Why? Why was this movie made? What was the point? The time travel angle is completely meaningless. The filmmakers don't do one interesting thing with it. The time travel effects were non-existent as well. Couldn't they have at least shown some vague interest in visualizing what would happen to a human body if you "faxed" it through a wormhole? No, that would have required imagination. "Timeline" will have none of that.

I would go 2 out of 4 on this one. The good news is that there is a large battle scene at the end which saves the movie. As a medieval battle movie, it's decent. But as a time travel adventure, it's pointless. It had no interesting ideas at all.

I mean, couldn't a knight have picked up a medallion and been zapped into the future? Couldn't the students have brought an Uzi with them to slay many knights? Anything? Hello? Yes? No? Does anybody care?

SCORE: 2 out of 4 time traveling for dummies

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