Monday, September 6, 2010

"Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial" review

Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial (2010)

Director: Jim Wynorski
Writers: Chris De Christopher, Mark Weiler

Nikki Jayne ... Busty Cop
Tory Lane ... Busty Cop
Kaylani Lei ... Other
Amy Reid ... Busty Cop

The Busty Cops are back in action. This time they have to help the quaint, humble island natives who are in danger of losing their sacred statue of perpetual orgasms. They fly to Hawaii so that they can have as much sex as possible before solving the case. The Busty Cops manage to get naked with every person they find and still have the stamina to tell outrageously terrible jokes. It all ends in complete debauchery as the busty cops have copious amounts of sex on the beach while various dirty blondes dance and fornicate to celebrate their carnal exploits.

The frequent flyer miles were stacking up on Wynorksi's credit card so it was time to make another "Busty Cops" movie. He flew the cast out, (economy class), and told them to do something interesting whenever it seemed like the camera was rolling. Wynorski was too busy chugging Mai Tai's and Pina Colada's to care. The men in this movie are most likely Wynorski's drinking buddies. They had to pay their own travel expenses but were compensated with sex scenes and all the Macadamia nuts they could eat. Actually, it makes a pretty good argument for being his drinking buddy.

So the Busty Cops are back but Wynorski forgot to bring along his best one. Where is Nikki Nova? She captures the voluptuous essence of being a Busty Cop but she is nowhere in sight. In fact, with the exception of Tory Lane, this is definitely the B-team of Busty Cops. None of these women are memorable. It is one anonymous blonde after another having softcore sex in the sand until Wynorski wakes up long enough to get them to stop.

But Wynorski manages to do a few things right and one of them was bringing along Tory Lane to romp in the sand. She is amazing. Tory Lane saves this movie from oblivion. She has a pretty nice three-way scene at the beginning of the movie with her fellow busty cops which starts things off on a positive note. She also ends up having sex with most everyone else in the movie. She is all about high energy sex and she delivers the softcore thrills.

So if you enjoy seeing clips from Wynorski's beach vacation masquerading as late night cinema, "Busty Cops and the Jewel of Denial" is the visual stimulation you seek. For those who can't get enough of watching naked women roll around in the sand, you have found nirvana. And for those who get turned on by watching women rub chocolate sauce on each other, (why Wynorksi why?!), then this film will excite you. As for me, I found it better than staring at the ceiling so it served its purpose. There were plenty of naked women and there was no plot to distract me. And as for Officer Tory Lane, for bravery in the face of Wynorksi duty, I salute you.

SCORE: 2 out of 4 busty cops

Officer Lane.

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