Sunday, February 26, 2006

"Miners Massacre" review


Miners Massacre (2003)

Directed by John Carl Buechler
Writing credits Antonio Olivas

Karen Black.... Aunt Nelly
John Phillip Law.... Sheriff Murphy
Richard Lynch.... Old Man Prichard
Brad H. Arden.... Forty-Niner
Elina Madison.... Rox Ann

Am I the only one dismayed at the lack of nudity in this otherwise fine film? "Miner's Massacre" has three to five hot babes, depending on your definition of hot. The only one who shows a bit of nudity is Elina Madison. This made me happy because I achieved my objective. I rented "Miner's Massacre" to see Elina Madison in action. Mission accomplished.

So a bunch of teens decide to go to a gold mine. Unfortunately for them, there is a zombie miner there who wants the gold all for himself. The miner is an interesting monster. He has gold lust like the Leprechaun and has the same tailor as the Creeper. He wields his pick axe and takes out anyone that comes between him and his nuggets.

I enjoyed "Miner's Massacre". It was a simple and straight forward slasher flick. Annoying teens show up, they should die for being alive and the miner is happy to accommodate them. Elina had the best death of all. The miner had his eyes on her and launched a heat-seeking shovel toward her neck. Oh yeah. That's the good stuff.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 Elinas in action

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