Saturday, May 27, 2006

"House of Wax" review


House of Wax (2005)

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra
Writing credits Charles Belden Chad Hayes

Elisha Cuthbert .... Carly Jones
Chad Michael Murray .... Nick Jones
Brian Van Holt .... Bo/Vincent
Paris Hilton .... Paige Edwards

"House of Wax" is a gory slasher movie with hot women doing stupid things. How did they know? Any movie that has blonde babes running for their lives from a maniac must be good on some level. This flick delivers the blood and guts I was hoping it would.

So a bunch of teens take a road trip to see a football game. They take a detour and end up in a small town with a wax museum. The rest of the movie writes itself as the psycho caretaker can't wait to wax them all. It has screaming, chases, blood, guts, Hilton in her underwear, and wax. Lots of wax. It has it all. If you like stupid slasher flicks, you'll get into "House of Wax".

The first thing you'll have to swallow is that a house made of wax could still be standing after baking in the Louisiana swamp all day. They must rebuild it every night. Cuthbert keeps ending up in places she should never be, like hiding inside a maniac's house when she should be running for her life. Of course, all of this nonsense doesn't bother me if the movie has the proper amount of gore. I'm happy to tell you that there is some fine ripping and tearing in this one. "House of Wax" is worth a look.

One last thing, there were only two things missing from this movie. One, there were no naked breasts. Cuthbert wears a wife beater and Hilton strips to her underwear but we get no breasts. Second, Paris does not enter the House of Wax. I found that disappointing since I was hoping to see a scene where she gets turned into a mannequin. She should have been strapped into a chair, sprayed with wax and then left on display. It would have been a Hilton house of horror.

SCORE: 3 out of 4 hot women running from maniacs

And let's not forget about Elisha Cuthbert. Run Elisha run! My God, she can pout with the best of them.

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