Wednesday, October 4, 2006

"Blood Angels" review

Blood Angels (2004)
AKA Thralls

Directed by Ron Oliver
Writing credits Lisa Morton Brett Thompson

Lorenzo Lamas.... Mr. Jones
Leah Cairns.... Leslie
Siri Baruc.... Ashley
Fiona Scott.... Roxie
Sonya Salomaa.... Lean
Moneca Delain.... Brigitte
Lisa Marie Caruk.... Buzz

A bunch of hot vampire, (Thralls if you want to get technical), women open a nightclub. They are trying to escape the clutches of vampire master Lamas. A sister of one of the vamps shows up. She is ignorant of their vampire ways. Soon she will get a lesson in how to be a successful Thrall and how to waste a beautiful B-movie concept.

Speaking as a B-movie lover, I'm outraged at this film. I don't say that lightly. What a waste. You have a bar full of hot vampire chicks and not one of them gets naked? Come on! OK. OK. The DJ flashes her breasts to expose some sort of snake like monster. But they used a body double for the DJ. No way was that her breasts. The cover of the DVD has five or six babes in scantily clad lingerie and the tag line is "Being wild is in their blood." Yeah whatever. When you have more topless guys than girls, you know that the filmmakers don't have a clue as to who will be watching their movie. "Blood Angels" had the potential to be a great exploitation flick but instead went down a very mundane path to B-movie oblivion.

To be fair, "Blood Angels" is not a horribly-made flick. You won't want to rip your eyes out while watching it. But it's another classic case of the bait and switch tactic that B-movie filmmakers cherish. You think you're renting a naughty vampire movie but instead are stuck with a Thrall empowerment flick. They are going to show that evil man that he's not in control of them. *Sigh*

Wasteful. Sad. Tragic.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 pouting Thralls

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