Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"The Exhibitionist Files" review


The Exhibitionist Files (2002)

Directed by Tom Lazarus
Writing credits L.L. Thomaso

Nikita Cash.... Diane (as Nikita Kash)
Drake Dorado.... Mark
Flower.... Della (as Flower Edwards)
Catalina Larranaga.... Lisa

I saw this on cable the other day. Catalina Larranaga is the super hot doctor researching some exhibitionists. She's creating the Exhibitionist files. She talks to them, they talk into the camera, Catalina talks into the camera and basically everyone keeps talking and talking until I passed out cold. "The Exhibitionist Files" makes the same fatal mistake that "Married People: Single Sex" makes: Too much talking! They've think they've hit on some universal truth and want to hammer it to death. Yes, people like to have other people watch them have sex, be naked and generally act naughty. So skin flick performers are exhibitionists and the viewers are all voyeurs. OK. I'm a voyeur and you're an exhibitionist. Glad to meet you. Now can we please start exhibiting something interesting?

I think I counted a grand total of two sex scenes. Catalina has sex with a guy on a couch and some other hot chick gets it on in a parking lot. Other than that, it is just one lost soul after another confessing everything to Dr. Catalina. I finally went insane when they had one guy tell Catalina about how he likes to go to massage parlors and have the women look at him as he touches himself. People please! Stop! No more! I don't want to know! Keep it to yourself man!

The only good thing about this one was Catalina Larranaga. She's got that great Mediterranean look we all know and love: Long dark hair with dark skin, etc. She had some hot outfits on in this one. She wore a couple of tight fitting turtlenecks and some nice suits. Just the fact that I have to praise her wardrobe gives you an idea of the amount of nudity in this skin flick. Close this Exhibitionist file immediately.

SCORE: 1 out of 4 wasted sessions

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