Sunday, March 19, 2006

"Hatchetman" review

Hatchetman (2003)

Directed by Robert Tiffi

Writing credits Robert Tiffi

Cheryl Renee.... Claudia Wagner (as Cheryl Burns)
Chris Moir.... Rob
Jon Briddell.... Sonny Banner
Mia Zottoli.... Star (as Mia)

The filmmakers of "Hatchetman" don't know anything about making a slasher film but they know a lot about making an exploitation movie. "Hatchetman" is about a psycho with a cheap mask and an even cheaper hatchet attacking strippers. A cop shows up to investigate all of these dastardly stripper murders. Will he solve the case and make up with his stripper girlfriend? Do we care? Bring on the breasts!

Speaking of breasts, I must take a moment and praise Mia Zottoli AKA Ava Lake. The filmmakers had the good sense to keep Mia around for as long as possible. The first time I saw her topless, I started singing "Some kind of wonderful!". After seeing her shower scene, it was time to sing "She's a brick...house!". Mia's wonderful brick house makes "Hatchetman" worth seeing.

Any movie that starts off in a strip club has got to be good on some level. Strippers and slashers are a potent exploitation movie mix. As a slasher movie, "Hatchetman" is pretty weak. There's nothing scary happening here. But for a bountiful harvest of breasts, "Hatchetman" has a bumper crop.

SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 bountiful Zottolis

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